


Dance in the Vampire HONK

by neosaiyanangel



Category: Dance in the Vampire Bund, Untitled Goose Game (Video Game)
Genre: BABIES MAKE EVERYTHING BETTER, Bureaucratic Applications For Geese, Character Inconveniently Learns Geese Have Teeth, Characters get together despite (or because of) interference by Goose, F/M, Goose Menaces Any Character In Canon That Writer Feels Like Menacing, Goose filling in for stork delivers babies randomly, Goose is filling in for stork to bring couple their baby, Goose is summoned/created and cannot be banished/destroyed, Like a candygram but it's Goose, Ordinary goose is actually a powerful spirit, Soulmates determined by untitled goose, To Do: Derail The Plot, Turns out the Goose is an Entity, Villain Redeemed by HONK
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-14
Updated: 2019-11-14
Packaged: 2021-01-30 12:30:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 987
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21428251
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/neosaiyanangel/pseuds/neosaiyanangel
Summary: The ceremony to determine who will have a child with Mina begins! Finally the wife’s tale is explained.
Relationships: Akira Kaburagi Regendorf/Mina Trepes
Comments: 2
Kudos: 9
Collections: Untitled Goose Exchange 2: 2 Goose 2 Furious





	Dance in the Vampire HONK

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Welsper](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Welsper/gifts).

Mina looked at the clock on her desk. It was one of those wonderful digital clocks that had the time, date, temperature...truly a remarkable invention. Still, it disappointed her, leaving her heart clenching at the date and time.

It had been a long time coming. She hadn't been counting down the days. She probably should've. It would've at least mentally prepared her for it.

Mina sighed through her nose.

It wasn't likely this would go her way. She would be forced to be wed to one of her brothers. Her dreams of living forever with Akira would be dashed.

Akira…

Mina clenched a fist.

No. It wouldn't end like that. This would go their way, somehow. She had _no idea_ how, but it would.

The clock hit midnight, signifying the start of a new day.

It was time.

—

Akira walked slightly behind Mina down a dark corridor in an unknown location. He'd been blindfolded the _entire day-long_ journey. For all he knew, they could be in Europe somewhere!

"Now, normally no one but vampire royalty can come here," Mina continued explaining, "but I absolutely _refused_ to come without you."

It didn't take long before they walked out into an open area. There was an empty throne on one side, three thrones—each seating one of Mina's brothers—on the other side, and a strange archway in the middle of the room. Akira couldn't help the grunt of confusion as the two of them walked over to the empty throne.

Mina sat down, Akira taking his place to her left.

"Let's not mince words. This ceremony will decide who my groom will be," Mina said with her usual confidence, "by granting the child that will bind us together."

Akira blinked a few times. Granting a child?

"I agree," Li said, his fan wavering slightly. "The stork shall decide who wins this little game."

"Stork?!" Akira blurted out, confused.

"Mind your tongue," Ivanovic growled. "You shouldn't even _be _here."

"Oh yes," Mina said, apparently ignoring her brother. "That's where the wife's tale of the delivery stork came from. It's how vampires have babies." A salacious grin crossed her face. "I suspect you thought it was a little more...messy?"

"Something like that," Akira mumbled.

"Bah! We're more _civilized_ than you animals." Ivanovic shifted forward in his seat. "Well? Let's get this over with."

The four vampires all stilled in their chair. It gave Akira the creeps.

Then, suddenly, the archway flashed once, twice.

The glow vanished as fast as it started. In the archway there was now—

"That's a goose," Rozenmann said plainly.

"Yes, it is," Mina agreed, confused.

A goose did, indeed, stand in the archway. Next to it were four strange little bundles.

"I thought it was supposed to be a stork!" Ivanovic complained. "A _goose_? Being matchmade by a _goose_? How embarrassing."

"No wonder the story is about a stork. The truth is simply amusing!" Li tittered.

"Honk!" The goose shook its head and ruffled a few feathers, spreading its wings slightly.

Everyone was still for a few moments as the goose stood, doing nothing.

"...Uhm…" Mina looked put out.

"_DO SOMETHING_!" Ivanovic shouted at the bird, acting like he was about to leap out of his seat to assault it.

"HONK!" The goose lunged at him. In the blink of an eye Ivanovic was covered in a violent pile of feathers.

"ACK!" Ivanovic flailed at the bird to, surprisingly, no avail. The goose seemed to overpower all his attempts to stop it as it beat him with its wings and bit and pecked at the angry vampire. Li was giggling behind his fan as Rozenmann looked on, nonplussed. Akira took a second to look at Mina, who was looking at the scene with disbelief.

Finally, the goose seemed satisfied with its admonishment of Ivanovic as it stopped and waddled back to the center of the room. It fussed with one of the little blankets before picking it up and strolling on over to Mina. It stretched its neck out to place the bundle into her hands.

"Oh!" Mina gasped. "A baby!"

Akira looked down to see that it was, indeed, a baby. A very familiar looking baby.

She looked just like how he had when he was a baby.

"Well! I can see who my groom is simply based on what our baby looks like!" Mina gushed, shooting smug looks at her brothers as the goose pecked at Akira. "Akira is to be my husband."

"What?!" Ivanovic jumped to his feet. The goose waddled back to the center of the room and began messing with another pile. "Impossible! No _mangy_ werewolf should be taking our rightful place as the progenitor of the next generation of pure bloods!"

"The goose has spoken," Rozenmann said, clearly peeved. "There is nothing we can do. We have to accept—"

He was cut off by the goose depositing a bundle in his hands.

He blinked. Looking at the goose, he murmured, "Is this...for me?"

"Honk!" The goose pecked Rozenmann a couple of times before it waddled back to the other two bundles. It wasn't long before the other two bundles were given to Li and Ivanovic.

"I...must admit, I did not see this outcome," Rozenmann said as he examined his child.

"Indeed! This seems to solve everything," Li agreed, holding his fan up to his face even as he cradled his child. "We all have an heir."

"Hmph!" Ivanovic grumbled even as he played with his baby, "I suppose there's no point in arguing. The goose has spoken."

"Yes, it has," Mina said as she rubbed a thumb against their baby's cheek. The baby moved about in the blanket, but otherwise stayed asleep. She looked up, eyes bright, and gesticulated, "Thank you, wise goose, for your generosity."

The goose flapped its wings in the archway and gave a resounding "HONK!" before vanishing in a burst of light.


End file.
